"I'm lucid! I'm lucid!"

I cannot remember what led into it, aside from that I was escaping an undesirable situation, but I had a moment of clarity and realized that I was dreaming, and that I could do whatever I wanted. I decided to fly, and I shot forward, moving really fast through the sky. I could feel the wind whipping past my face and could see a village of very similar looking buildings below (I remember feeling like that had been created as a backdrop or an after-effect). As I was flying, I became a little scared because I was so high up, and then I remembered that I was dreaming, and I sort of yelled/chanted, "I'm lucid! I'm lucid!" to keep remembering.

It occurred to me that I should be able to do other things, but I felt like it was taking a lot more energy for me to maintain lucidity, and I was afraid of pressing my luck - I am hoping that I will get better at this as I experience it more often.

I decided to land next to a building. I remember worrying that I was going too fast, so I allowed physics to reorient itself around my landing, so that I wouldn't crash. Then I walked up to the building and saw a woman, who slowly transformed into a grey alien. Then I woke up.

Escaping from the Christian Vegan Cultists

Jennifer, Joe and a few others were with me in some huge building complex. We had empty suitcases and bags which we had brought with us specifically to salvage items found in various boxes and bags in the basement of this building. Joe and I were picking though the basement and kept getting interrupted by unmanned/robotic trains which moved around on tracks laid out around the walls, their heavy beams of light exposing us and making me feel like I was going to get caught.

At some point I was accosted and placed in a room where I was expected to record a musical album as part of my re-education/brainwashing into a born-again Christian. Although I knew I couldn't really be fooled, because I knew too much about religion and Christianity in general, I still felt very threatened by these cultists, and resisted, but singing songs which were as evil and loud and brash as I could muster. They were not amused by this, and two very willful, humorless women came into the room and announced that I would be doing the rest of the songs their way, under their supervision. They left the room - I was given the impression that they had to prepare for the session - and I began looking for an escape.

While I was in the room, I remember sitting around waiting, and there were a couple of teenagers sitting around telling stories and generally sounding really idiotic, using slang and acting like generic surfer characters in a shitty movie. I remember being worried about escaping, because I didn't want to get into more trouble. Then Jennifer poked her head through a side door and tried to get me to go outside. She had a car waiting outside, and all our bags were packed and loaded in the car. I expressed concern, telling her that they would call the cops on us. She assured me they would only send their own security forces after us, and that we would escape because the car that was waiting was a special type of taxi which specialized in helping people escape from cults.

We drove off, making a rather sloppy getaway, often driving over curbs and grass medians to escape. We managed to get away, until we found ourselves penned in at a local depot of some kind. We exchanged artillery fire with a kind of tank driven by the previously mentioned annoying teenagers, and then we went inside to a bunker, where we were followed by the cultists, who were also vegans. I had a retractable baton which I used to beat them down, except for one very tough woman who was seemingly indestructible, and was only mildly angered by my attacks. She revealed that she was only there to enjoy the vegan food, anyway.

Flavorless Cookie Jewelry

I was going on some kind of trip, I think, and before I was about to leave I was in a hotel room and looking at a magazine ad for jewelry - apparently this jeweler classifed their wares upon how 'fresh' they were. I can't remember the exact terminology, but I think the kind the model was wearing was considered "fine" and "rough cut". It was advertised as being like the kind of exfoliating soap she might use on her face to remove makeup. I decided to eat the earring, and it tasted like a flavorless cookie bar.

Shamanic Journey

I was floating over a desert scene at night, apparently laying railroad tracks in the sand. As I moved along these lines, I suddenly flipped to a different place, where I was watching this scene from my the bedroom Jennifer and I shared at my parents old house. As I watched, I saw myself, only my eye sockets were empty, pitch black, and grew until my whole face was gone. I remember gasping in terror, but unable make a sound. But terrified as I was, I understood it was important not to look away.

The dream then ended, and a new dream began, in which I had memory of these events, and was trying to re-watch them. I was in some college setting. So I finally managed to watch this old footage, and nothing even close to what I saw too place. This alarmed me even more, and I decided that something terrifying must have happened to me.

Later, I sought out a shaman who would let me go on a shamanic journey. I was to get into a boat in Harrisburg and lay down to sleep, and the boat would slowly float to Hershey, and then the shaman would wake me and my initiation would begin. But the whole time I was more and more aware that the thing with the eyes WAS a shamanic journey.

Guido Dad is an Unselfish Witness

The town mayor - also the father of three Guidos - was acting as a witness in some sort of court case, and in order to prove his credibility, he proudly announced that he would defer the award of $1125 he was being offered for his services, and take a mere fee of $15. His sons stood around him, glowing orangely and flexing in their sleeveless ultra-deep V-neck tees.

I later went home and found a stack of bizarre fetish porn mags on my front porch - one of which was titled 'Glow' - which seemed to be centered around amptuees or possibly seal impersonators.

Cloud Formations Lead to Tooth Loss

I was on the roof with Paul C. and Mike D., looking at these beautiful, but somewhat disturbing, cloud formations in the night sky. Despite the darkness of the sky, the formations were extremely well lit and very detailed. I pointed at three formations which looked like the Sphinx, and then realized that the formations were so detailed, they actually looked like a matte painting of constellation images in the sky.

Mike and I both realized that our gums were bleeding badly. I went downstairs and looked in the mirror, and pulled one of my teeth right out. Blood gushed from my mouth. I was alarmed, and went home - across the street - where I encountered one of my sons, who I had abandoned years ago. His jaw had been broken and was now rotting and livid with maggots. He then insisted on showing me how "neat" maggots were by having them devour a burrito, but in order to do this, I was expected to vomit them onto it. This caused me to wake up in disgust.

Time-Travelling Via Robot

I was at a beach on an island somewhere in a South Pacific, and I was swimming in the ocean. The waves were massive; one rolled over me for what seemed like a minute and a half, and I was in the fabled tunnel you see in really good surfing photos. Then the water washed over my head, and I didn’t surface for awhile, and felt like I was going to drown.

The scene cut away to a scientist who was talking about these massive waves being an effect of climate changes, and that the excess salt in the water was dangerous. Nevertheless, I continued swimming, and found myself riding on a body board.

Then a bunch of giant being which reminded me of Peloponnesian gods started attacking me, forcing me to evolve into a god myself.

Later, in another dream, I was in a bus terminal or airport, and confronted with a computer console which offered me the choice of various aliens and robots which I could send on a mission. I piloted my robot onto a sort of shuttle car and drove along a strange elevated highway, and as I traversed the road, it became evident that I was travelling far in the future. The road began to deteriorate, and I felt utterly alone and lost.

The World's Biggest Bake Sale

I was in some sort of classroom setting, although it was dark and dramatically lit, like an operating theater in a medical drama. Many of my high school classmates were there, include Kyle C., who stole my seat and sat there mocking me. I became enraged and knocked the desk over onto its side, spilling him onto the floor. The teacher descended on me and I knew I was in trouble.

Only instead of being sent to the principal’s office, I was released to go to lunch. As in usually the case in my dreams, the school’s lunchroom was barren of good food choices, everything seemed to have been picked away, leaving only the sad crap that nobody else had wanted. The fact that I was actually early for lunch this time made no difference.

Somehow I managed to find something edible, and made my way to a table. I ended up sitting next to Kyle, and I decided to talk amiably to him, saying that there was no reason to fight, and that we should endeavor to get along. He was agreeable, and I ended up getting along with a whole table of classmates that I remember having tenuous relationships with in the past. My old friend, Matt D. came up and started talking to me, telling me some sort of joke. I was happy to see him.

Later, I was wandering around some kind of huge indoor market which seemed to be selling nothing but baked goods. In particular, there loaves of what could only be described as “cookie bread”. Something that had the consistency of soft brownies, and came in a variety of flavors. I drooled over a peanut butter cookie loaf, but distressed over the caloric values, and eventually ended up settling on a box of “sugar crisps” which seemed to be little chunks of sugar that had apparently low calories, low sugar(?!?), and low carbs.

Knuckle Hair = Belly Hair = Vince Noir's Cheeky Fringe

I was on my way to the beach, riding on some sort of contraption like a wagon or platform with wheels, which was extremely uncomfortable, because I was forced to kneel down on my knees the whole time. I was aware that Noel Fielding was also going to the beach, but he had a van that we driving, and was way ahead of me - except he wasn't because he had turned around and went back to get something he'd forgotten. Meanwhile, I was frustrated because I'd somehow lost track of where the road was, and was scooting along on these big grassy hills on my little knee-cart.

Noel caught up to me right around the time I found the road again. I had been debating turning around and trying to catch up with him, and decided it would be better if I just slogged on. Then he picked me up in his van and drove really, really fast and we got ot the beach within minutes. Then he told me that some girl he knew told him, that the hair on my knuckles reminded her of the hair on my stomach, and also the hair on his head. This made an awful lot of sense at the time, and utterly confounds me, now.

A Moment of Lucidity in the Sun

I was in some sort of video game world, in which there was a huge zone or country surrounded on all sides by a kind of canal or waterway which flowed in a circular path around the zone. This waterway was the main method of transportation around the zone, but one could only go in one direction, so if you missed your stop, you had to go all the way around again.

I was travelling to one of the corners of the zone, where there was a big castle. I believe I was looking for my wife, but she wasn’t where I expected her to be. As I came out of the castle and climbed a hill, I became aware of the fact that I was dreaming, and becoming acutely aware of the environment I was in, I began to notice the sun on my back, a mild breeze in the air, with the scent of sea in it. It was amazing to me, how vivid and real this felt, for a dream.

I fairly quickly lost this moment of lucidity, and made my way back to the starting point of my journey, where I sought out some sort of strip club or sex club.

The VHS Minimalist

I was trying to arrange jumbo-sized action figures into movie poster scenes between the slats of a train track, and my efforts were continually hindered and undone by passing trains. The action figures turned into real people at some point, and were distracting me as I tried to arrange them in such a way that was both dramatic enough for a movie poster, and which also wouldn't get crushed or scattered by the trains.

After a train completely destroyed my work, the souls of all the action figures got transferred onto video tapes by a man in a sleek business suit with a VHS tape for a head. He was a self-proclaimed aesthetic who felt that the only proper way to live was to capture only the barest essense of one's personality - just enough to fit onto an analog video tape - and to lay around around smoking French cigarettes and listening to minimalist ambient music. He had a brother who created a stir in the art community by collecting hairy people and shaving building profiles into their bodyhair, and then having them stand next to one another, creating complex human cityscapes.

Inflatable Truck

I had parked a van outside of some sort of building complex - I think I worked there. I was leaving to go to school (high school) and realized that somebody had torn the doors of the van open and looted everything from it. Without being aware of any change having taken place, the van was now something like a tabtub/shower combo where a truck bed would normally be. I wanted to transport my bike (which was also parked nearby) and some other vehicle which I seemed to think was there, but I was afraid of these things falling out of the bathtub, so I walked to another location, where I had parked my tractor trailer, which was inflatable like a gigantic plastic balloon, and which featured a water slide.

Later on in the same dream, I was confronted with the phrase: "Scenes from a Nightmare: Rob Thomas releases a 10 disc set of new radio-playable singles." I don't recall any context for this phrase, but it made me laugh myself awake.

Unrelated Photo-based Meterology

I was working help desk and got a call from a user who wanted me to predict the weather based on a photograph she had. I had to go to great lengths to explain why this was impossible. I woke up thinking that I could use this dream to accurately describe how difficult it is to communicate to non-computer-literate users, but after a few cups of coffee I found that the dream didn't make nearly as much sense as I thought it did, and at any rate, I couldn't remember the conversation I had in the dream any longer.