Guido Dad is an Unselfish Witness

The town mayor - also the father of three Guidos - was acting as a witness in some sort of court case, and in order to prove his credibility, he proudly announced that he would defer the award of $1125 he was being offered for his services, and take a mere fee of $15. His sons stood around him, glowing orangely and flexing in their sleeveless ultra-deep V-neck tees.

I later went home and found a stack of bizarre fetish porn mags on my front porch - one of which was titled 'Glow' - which seemed to be centered around amptuees or possibly seal impersonators.

Cloud Formations Lead to Tooth Loss

I was on the roof with Paul C. and Mike D., looking at these beautiful, but somewhat disturbing, cloud formations in the night sky. Despite the darkness of the sky, the formations were extremely well lit and very detailed. I pointed at three formations which looked like the Sphinx, and then realized that the formations were so detailed, they actually looked like a matte painting of constellation images in the sky.

Mike and I both realized that our gums were bleeding badly. I went downstairs and looked in the mirror, and pulled one of my teeth right out. Blood gushed from my mouth. I was alarmed, and went home - across the street - where I encountered one of my sons, who I had abandoned years ago. His jaw had been broken and was now rotting and livid with maggots. He then insisted on showing me how "neat" maggots were by having them devour a burrito, but in order to do this, I was expected to vomit them onto it. This caused me to wake up in disgust.

Time-Travelling Via Robot

I was at a beach on an island somewhere in a South Pacific, and I was swimming in the ocean. The waves were massive; one rolled over me for what seemed like a minute and a half, and I was in the fabled tunnel you see in really good surfing photos. Then the water washed over my head, and I didn’t surface for awhile, and felt like I was going to drown.

The scene cut away to a scientist who was talking about these massive waves being an effect of climate changes, and that the excess salt in the water was dangerous. Nevertheless, I continued swimming, and found myself riding on a body board.

Then a bunch of giant being which reminded me of Peloponnesian gods started attacking me, forcing me to evolve into a god myself.

Later, in another dream, I was in a bus terminal or airport, and confronted with a computer console which offered me the choice of various aliens and robots which I could send on a mission. I piloted my robot onto a sort of shuttle car and drove along a strange elevated highway, and as I traversed the road, it became evident that I was travelling far in the future. The road began to deteriorate, and I felt utterly alone and lost.

The World's Biggest Bake Sale

I was in some sort of classroom setting, although it was dark and dramatically lit, like an operating theater in a medical drama. Many of my high school classmates were there, include Kyle C., who stole my seat and sat there mocking me. I became enraged and knocked the desk over onto its side, spilling him onto the floor. The teacher descended on me and I knew I was in trouble.

Only instead of being sent to the principal’s office, I was released to go to lunch. As in usually the case in my dreams, the school’s lunchroom was barren of good food choices, everything seemed to have been picked away, leaving only the sad crap that nobody else had wanted. The fact that I was actually early for lunch this time made no difference.

Somehow I managed to find something edible, and made my way to a table. I ended up sitting next to Kyle, and I decided to talk amiably to him, saying that there was no reason to fight, and that we should endeavor to get along. He was agreeable, and I ended up getting along with a whole table of classmates that I remember having tenuous relationships with in the past. My old friend, Matt D. came up and started talking to me, telling me some sort of joke. I was happy to see him.

Later, I was wandering around some kind of huge indoor market which seemed to be selling nothing but baked goods. In particular, there loaves of what could only be described as “cookie bread”. Something that had the consistency of soft brownies, and came in a variety of flavors. I drooled over a peanut butter cookie loaf, but distressed over the caloric values, and eventually ended up settling on a box of “sugar crisps” which seemed to be little chunks of sugar that had apparently low calories, low sugar(?!?), and low carbs.

Knuckle Hair = Belly Hair = Vince Noir's Cheeky Fringe

I was on my way to the beach, riding on some sort of contraption like a wagon or platform with wheels, which was extremely uncomfortable, because I was forced to kneel down on my knees the whole time. I was aware that Noel Fielding was also going to the beach, but he had a van that we driving, and was way ahead of me - except he wasn't because he had turned around and went back to get something he'd forgotten. Meanwhile, I was frustrated because I'd somehow lost track of where the road was, and was scooting along on these big grassy hills on my little knee-cart.

Noel caught up to me right around the time I found the road again. I had been debating turning around and trying to catch up with him, and decided it would be better if I just slogged on. Then he picked me up in his van and drove really, really fast and we got ot the beach within minutes. Then he told me that some girl he knew told him, that the hair on my knuckles reminded her of the hair on my stomach, and also the hair on his head. This made an awful lot of sense at the time, and utterly confounds me, now.